"Intense negative emotions absorb all the attention of the individual, hindering any attempt to attend to something else."
Daniel Goleman
To understand the phenomenon of emotions we must first know what they imply. Emotions constitute feelings, reactions and sensations at the physiological level present in humans once they are related to their environment in general. An emotion of a positive nature is nothing more than the one that triggers a sensation of pleasure at an emotional level, within which joy can be cited as primary, through which well-being and satisfaction are experienced, generally expressed through laughter; the sadness; the fear; pride when we reach a goal after making a certain effort or sacrifice; the interest, aroused by stimuli that generate in us the desire for knowledge and experimentation; gratitude, which we usually express once something that has been received is sincerely recognized, which allows us to simultaneously or deepen them and anger. Among the secondary ones are surprise, aversion, love and shame.
The truth is that positive emotions are part of our well-being, help overcome stress, improve our performance and optimize our health and social interactions. In fact, people with traits such as agreeableness and optimism in their personality are generally associated with a greater tendency to express their positive emotions.
Keep in mind that, in emotions, as Aristotle's thought manifested, we place judgments or knowledge, representations of a subjective nature, beliefs, etc. However, there is a very important aspect when it comes to our emotional world, and that is key to managing it: self-regulation.
Emotional self-regulation is very especially related to the knowledge of our emotional states. It is an ability to be aware of our feelings, manage them, understand them and promote personal growth.
However, a basic aspect is constituted by "knowing", "awareness of the emotion and dealing with it". Several studies today have shown that many people are terrified of well-being, so when they experience enjoyment, security or happiness, they tend to perceive fear at the same time, since they do not have sufficient mechanisms to familiarize themselves with them.
Another of the reasons why these people fear positive emotions is based on the belief that they do not deserve them, or that they could be accompanied by some loss or misfortune.
What then lies in the difficulty in processing positive emotions?
The processing of emotions refers to the ability to naturally assimilate or become familiar with certain emotional states in ourselves, but for this there must be certain internal conditions that make it possible.
Every positive emotion leads the human being to develop perspectives, personal resources, face setbacks, all of which have a significant impact on social and cognitive processes. However, in people who fear this feeling there is almost always a tendency to depression, a high level of self-criticism, stress and anxiety, where there is a certain lack of positive resources and, therefore, of a certain capacity to deal with or approach emotions. nice.
For example, in the case of a highly self-critical person, where there is little or no self-compassion, the relationship with their own feelings, especially the positive ones, of which they might even feel ashamed, is very complicated.
How to approach positive emotions?
Abrupt exposure to pleasant experiences may be somewhat overwhelming, but we could explore giving ourselves some time to practice approaching and becoming aware of our feelings.
The practice of meditation, for example, can help a lot. By performing this introspection we can familiarize ourselves with feelings, stimuli and sensations of the body, an aspect that can be very pleasant and that also allows us to get to know and explore that wide internal world that we often do not allow ourselves to penetrate.
This, in addition, will make it easier for us to understand our own affectionate experiences and even give them another meaning.
To take a look inside, reconstruct and recognize what frightens us and, at the same time, familiarize ourselves with positive emotions and stimulate them, we can carry out several actions.
First of all, it would be very helpful if we could list as many negative emotions as possible that come to mind, and make a list of positive emotions as well. Very probably it will be more comfortable for us to mention negative emotions than those that are positive. In a similar way it happens in the consultations or to any person who is asked to carry out this task.
What mechanisms to use then to promote positive emotions?
Fostering these types of emotions is not complicated. According to Martin Seligman's PERMA model, also called welfare theory, there are a few ways to do this.
First of all, we could make a list of all those activities, memories, moments, places or people that are or have been to our liking. You can start by becoming aware of it. From this, we could think of some way in which we can make it possible for all these elements to be more present in our lives.
Second, we can use the “positive focus” technique. Probably in our daily lives we already carry out activities that provoke positive emotions, from enjoying a musical theme to a meal, etc. This exercise has a simple purpose: propose to stimulate at least three different positive emotions, coming from different activities, either being alone or accompanied.
Thirdly, we have the so-called “positive things of the present and future technique”. Through this exercise we can concentrate on making two lists: one of them focused on the current moment, the other on goals that we want to achieve or things that we want to experience in the future. In this way, after a few days we will be able to read it and complete it, think about what has been written in it, etc., all of which will stimulate our gratitude for what we live in the present and project ourselves positively into the future.
These are just some of the many simple ways that exist to stimulate positive emotions. Knowledge of what to do and how to do it is very favorable and recommended. Let us remember what was written by Elsa Punset:
“Emotions are the result of how we experience, physically and mentally, the interaction between our internal world and the external world.”
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